What's Your Objective Here?

Was it ever worth it? Was there all that much to gain? Well we knew we'd missed the boat but we'd already missed the train. ~ Modest Mouse

Last night, I gave up my coveted Friday night to spend an evening with a man that I met in a coffee shop. I was buying myself a little afternoon kick-in-the-pants (aka, espresso) and he was in line behind me. We got to chatting, exchanged numbers, and when he called to ask me out, I said SURE! All of this, by the way, is pretty uncharacteristic for me...I tend to be in "the zone" when I'm out and about -- I'm in my own world and not paying attention to anything around me.

Anyway, we'll call this dude John. John was tall -- well over six feet (again, tall guys get bonus points with me). He had dark brown hair and deep green eyes. Pretty damn hot, actually. And, standing in line at the coffee shop, he seemed like a nice guy.

We met at a restaurant in Bethesda. He got there first (of course) and was able to snag an outside table. We ordered our (24-ounce) beers. And then sat in silence...for a l-o-n-g time.

Getting this guy to have a conversation was like pulling teeth. "Where are you from?" I'd ask. "California." "Where in California?" "San Diego." "How long have you been in DC?" "Six months." "Where were you before?" "South Carolina." "Where in South Carolina?" "Charleston." You get the point.

Over the course of two hours, I managed to drag out of him that he was a lawyer (no shortage of those in DC) but had spent many years in the Navy and had lived all over the world. He came from a big family -- four brothers, one sister. He had grown up in California. And that was about it. (Did I mention that it took me TWO hours to get this info?) The potential for him to be interesting was there -- I'm sure that he had experienced some great things. Too bad that he had the personality of a stick of wood.

As the date was (finally, thankfully) nearing its end, I'd given up on trying to keep a conversation going and was just enjoying the painfully awkward silence and cursing the waitress for taking so damn long to bring our change back. Then John looks at me and says, "So I had an okay time tonight." (Gee, thanks.) He continued with, "But I was wondering, what is your objective here?" Huh? My response was, "Huh?" To which he responded, "Your objective. What was your purpose or goal in meeting me here?"

I was a little shocked. In my entire life, I've never had a guy ask me what my "objective" was in going out with him. I wonder what he thought I'd say...to meet the man of my dreams, run off and get married, get laid? I mean, really?

I evaded giving any real response, jumped up from the table when our change arrived, thanked him for a nice evening, and raced to my car so that I could just go home because, at that point, my objective was to get the hell out of there and hope that I never hear from snooze-inducing John again. Sheesh.