Time to Let Him Down Easy...?

I'm still thinking about the whole Mike-Sara thing. It just bothers me...and not because I feel like some jilted girlfriend or something. Mike and I had never even gone out on a real date, and he can date as many women as he wants -- I don't judge that. Hell, I date multiple guys at the same time. Big deal. It is the fact that he was pursuing two women who were good friends...and now, at least for awhile, things will be weird between Sara and I and that sucks. It just does. AND, I think that "dating" a roommate is asking for trouble...it seems like a slippery line to have crossed, so now I have to worry about my friend, who is now "dating" someone that I don't like and that I think has questionable morals. Lovely. Well, at least it gives me something to write about.

Speaking of writing...on to the real reason for this post...

So continuing in the thread of all of my dating experiences, the guy I'm really NOT into seems to be pretty into me. This would be Max. We went out for dinner last week and I swear I've been trying to give this guy a chance. I really have. I went out with him THREE times. That is a lot for me...well, for me to go out with a guy I feel no chemistry with. Usually two dates is the maximum I can stand.

Last week's dinner was...fine. Actually, it was rather pleasant. The conversation was good -- we talked about out families, our jobs, even the dreaded topic of politics. We walked to the Metro together, got on the train, and then waved goodbye when we came to his stop (which was before mine). And that was it. It was fun. But not at all date-y.

Now, I'm not saying that he should have been all over me, but there are certain things that a guy can do to make a girl feel...special. Even a nice compliment, "you look nice this evening," "that color blue looks great on you," "I had a great time tonight." Or maybe an extra squeeze on the hug hello, or a lingering glance across the table. Something. While it is definitely possible to go overboard, little things like that set up some parameters that make you see the other person as more than a friend...make you feel like you are on a DATE. With Max, I get nothing, thus punting us into Friendland. I'm okay with that -- I can always use more friends. The problem? I don't think HE sees it that way.

This morning, I got a call from Max (he left a voicemail...I was still sleeping...at 9:30 on a Sunday morning, come on). He was calling to see if I wanted to catch a movie this evening and he was all excited because he had a car for the weekend (that's a city thing, btw), so could come and pick me up. Oh yippee!! (Okay, yes, that 'yippee' was bitchy.)

I'm not going to go. While I wouldn't mind hanging out with Max again, it just wouldn't be fair. I guess I could try the "I like you, but would rather just be friends with you," approach. But really, that never works. It just makes the other person feel stupid. I know because I've been on the receiving end (though not as often as I've been on the delivering end...hmm).

So now I'll have to call him and tell him I just can't. The question is...is it better to be honest and say "I'm just not feeling it" (in a nicer way, obviously) or to use some other excuse, such as "I just bought a house and am getting ready to move, things are going to be crazy for the next month or so" (which is actually totally true; however, for the right guy, I'd make time)?