What Is the Allure?

I fell off the track, now I can't go back. I'm not like that. Boys lie too much. Girls act too tough. Enough is enough. ~ The Strokes

Okay, so here's my question...why do I always seem the most drawn to the most inappropriate guys? No, really?

Last week I went out with a really, really NICE guy. We'll call him "Max." Our conversation was easy and relaxed. He's funny and cute and we have a ton in common. In fact, I joked with my friends later that I felt like I had been out on a date with myself...and let's face it, I am pretty fabulous, so that doesn't sound so bad (kidding). The difference? Max seems pretty much squeaky clean; I'm not. I definitely have a bit of a wild streak.

Why is this relevant? Because even though Max and I got along great, for me, there was really no attraction or spark. None. Nada. Zilch. And I kind of wonder if it is because he did just seem so...NICE and polite and...safe. I'm going out with him again next week, so maybe on our second night out he'll impress me. But I'm dubious. For me IT is usually there right away or not at all.

IT was there pretty much instantly for the "bad boys" in my life. The guys like Ben or Mike. Instant spark, instant trouble. These are the guys that I always seem to fall for...the ones who love you when you are standing in front of them, but forget you the moment you walk away. And it drives me NUTS! The guys who actually DO call me and act interested? Yeah, I could care less about them. But the Bens and the Mikes...the ones I know I should avoid...those are the guys I want to hear from more than anything. Maybe it is a challenge thing? Wanting something I can't or shouldn't have? Or is it an ego thing? Or maybe I feel like I need a partner in crime and the guys that are jerks seem like they have more potential? Seriously...what gives?

I just don't get it. I am, however, willing to give Max another chance...see if he surprises.

Regardless, I'm sure that the next time my cell phone rings, my heart will jump in anticipation and then sink with disappointment when I see that neither of my current bad boys are calling. Gosh, dating is so lame. If I wasn't such trouble, maybe I'd join a convent.